You can learn to love yourself again

April 24, 2021
By
Dr. Darren Lipshitz MD

One of the hardest parts of confronting your addiction is looking yourself in the mirror when you become sober. You can see the pain you've caused other people and feel the guilt of your actions and selfishness more clearly than ever before. The guilt can weigh on you heavily to the point that it exasperates any preexisting depression and anxiety. It may even become debilitating or increase the desire to relapse. In order to move forward with your life and your recovery in the best way, you need to learn how to forgive yourself and love yourself again as part of the healing process.

Importance of Self-Love in Recovery

When you learn to love yourself again, you will be able to go about each day with more confidence. Other people will notice this confidence, including family and employers. This confidence will allow you to tackle more responsibilities, and you will see the results in tangible ways. When you have these amazing things going on in your life, you won't have the time or energy to slip back into drugs or alcohol. You won't have time to wallow in self-pity or boredom and possibly relapse from your recovery. In order to keep yourself busy after addiction, you need to believe that you are capable enough to take on the opportunities that come your way.

Tips to Turning Things Around

It can be difficult to change the image you see in the mirror. It takes time, effort, and support. Here are some tips on how to love yourself again while focusing on healing after addiction.

1. Rehabilitation / Therapy

Rehabilitation not only detoxes the poison out of your body, but it detoxes the poison out of your mind as well. Rehabilitation centers have both group and individual therapy sessions to help you express your feelings to other people and face them head on. For people who struggle with self-esteem after the decisions they've made, professionals can monitor you to keep you safe. They can also help determine if the feelings are part of a larger issue that may require medication.

Of course, the therapy shouldn't stop after rehabilitation. It's your responsibility to continue treatment as part of your healing process when you return and transition back into "normal" life again. Your emotional health, like a muscle, requires constant exercise.

2. Develop a support system

Even when you think that you are finally back on the track to self-love, there will be bad days. When you experience those bad days, you are going to want support to get you through it. Develop a strong support system that you can call on when the time comes. Many people start right at home with their parents, siblings, friends, or other loved ones. You can also find support in rehabilitation or a 12-step program in the form of a sponsor. In some cases, therapists can become a stable support system. For people who don't already have a support system in place, this may cause anxiety. However, there are always places to find support. Start by going to support groups or looking online if you have nowhere else to go.

3. Daily positive affirmations

When you wake up in the morning, you may not wake up exuding confidence every day. However, this is a case of mind of matter. You need to do your best to put the negative thoughts out of your mind and force positivity into your brain.

Wake up every day telling yourself that it will be a good day. When you look in the mirror and get ready, repeat positive things about yourself. As you continue through your day, negative thoughts may still pop into your head. Do your best to replace thoughts of your mistakes with thoughts of your accomplishments. One day, the positive thoughts will outweigh the negative thoughts.

4. Get creative

Some people were born to create. Whether you use a paintbrush, a pen, a guitar, a sewing machine, or your voice, use your gift to help build your confidence. While your responsibilities should always be your priority, it's okay to take time for yourself to embrace your creative side from time to time. You may even use your struggles to help create some of your most beloved creations. When people see your work and enjoy it, you will see that your gift is valuable. This can help you believe that you deserve your spot in this world and even help you find a purpose.

5. Embrace spirituality

The universe contains secrets that are far beyond any of our terrestrial understanding. While like Ahab's white whale, we may never actually learn these secrets in this lifetime, we all must continue the journey toward existentialism. One great way to do this is to embrace spirituality.

Spirituality is a personal thing and takes a number of different forms. Some people find spiritual fulfillment through organized religion, such as Christianity or Islam. Other people gravitate toward more open-ended forms of religion such as Buddhism. Still others venture into the beauty of nature while others meditate to experience understanding through an understanding of their own mind and spirit.

Once you come to a pint of enlightenment, it becomes easier to see the bigger picture. There may be a reason why you went through the journey you went through. You need to experience low points to see how blessed you truly are in this world and reach new highs. These new highs can even help other people in the world, even if it's just the people in your home.

6. Focus on responsibilities

While we all need to learn to love ourselves, we learn to love ourselves again in order to best handle the responsibilities we have in life. Also, one of the best confidence boosters after addiction will be accomplishing the things you most want to do in life. Drugs and alcohol can make someone a bad parent or child. It can also hinder a person's career. After recovery, it's a good idea to put your head down and do the things you may have slacked on in the past. Call family members more and do more for others. You can even take time to serve others by going to a charity event for the less fortunate. These actions are healing in themselves and will slowly cause you to go to bed more content with who you are as a person.

If you have suffered from addiction, recovery can be a painful look into your own flaws. However, most people aren't intrinsically bad. Part of your healing process involves striving to be a better person. However, you'll struggle to take the appropriate actions if you do not work to love yourself again. Love yourself each day one day at a time until small improvements become more and more noticeable. Hopefully, love and success will follow.

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